Back at home. Sorted out my feelings alittle. Didn't want to think about it anymore although i still have mixed thoughts about his feelings. (: As usual, i'll never be able to guess what he is thinking.

Went out to meet LingXiang and Derrick twintwin. ;D Played poker and slack, went to Lingxiang's house awhile then back to HougangPt. Razid's last day today! I lost daidee by 3rounds to LingXiang and Derrick lost 1 or 2rounds to me but because he's not working tmr, i'm gonna be the one who has to do the forfeits tmr! >.< Sway luck i have.

Thanks to Joy who consoled me today again. Cried really badly in the afternoon but i felt better after that cry. (: Everyone is telling me to trust him after they hear the whole thing. Am i really the one making wild guesses and not trusting him? Urgh! Yay. Work tmr means i get to see him. (: But i've to do forfeits.

That feeling is back once again, the fear. I really don't know what to do anymore. Forget it. I know i have to face this alone everytime. How many times do i have to tear because of this issue? Last time it was her, now it's another her.

I guess i have to sort out my feelings again.
Just feeling alittle tired thats all. (:

>.< I'm so unhappy today because he's neglecting me for his game AGAIN! Work today was hell tiring.

I don't feel like going to school tmr because there's two hrs of Maths and 1hr is enough to kill me alr. ): Probably home after school tmr, i bet he's gonna stay at home and play his game again. and i'm working on Thurs and Friday this week but not Sat and Sunday because wendy didn't know that i can work! Urgh! Shall tell them to put me on schedule this wkend!

i don't know what happen to me nowadays, i feel so tired and always in a bad mood. I can never get enough rest! >.<

i still love that guy although he's always playing his game and ignoring me. Stop neglecting and ignoring me you this guy! >.< It makes me sad.

Didn't have time to update blog. Either busy working or watching drama serial for the past few days. (:

Sat work from 1pm to to 7pm was okay. Had my first and only meal at 7pm after i punch out, almost die of hunger. Home after work alone, drama serial after bathing. (:

Sunday work 12pm to 6pm. Only meal for the day at 3+pm. Kept having one meal each day for the past few day but it's okay for me. ;D Home after work alone again den went out with dad at 7+pm.

Today Chinese O'level exam was quite tough. Not sure whether i can do well for today's paper but i'll definitely retake if i get a B. I must do well for my Chinese paper! >.< Headache during work and i was unlucky enough today because my E-Dictionary couldn't be switched on! Was so tired while doing the paper too. Home after the paper, finish watching Smiling Pasta alr! It's damn nice ok! Introduced by Wenyan. ;D Out to Rivervale Mall for dinner just now then home.

Tmr gonna be a long day at work, 8am to 4pm. >.< Gonna be so tired. I feel like screaming when the money i saved up for the past few weeks was being took away by someone from my family. Now i've to start saving ALL OVER again and i'm feeling very very pissed off. I'm going save up every single cent that i have from today onwards, who cares if i eat only one meal each day.

Roars.

I'm gonna work like hell during this holiday but i'll definitely find time so that i can meet him. (:

Reported late for school today because i woke up late. I didn't set my alarm clock last night and i can wake up at 7am ok. (: Lessons before recess but the teachers just talk to us, Miss Tan gonna leave us and go on leave for the whole June holiday and probably extend her leave because she's sick. Can't imagine having another Geography teacher for the next month. This sucks like hell. Area cleaning after recess then got back our report books. Got 6th position in class despite having such lousy results. Another sucky thing. But Kenneth smuggled into the school today and he joined our class after recess! ;D

I wanna eat that so much and the mr nice guy agreed to accompany me for lunch ltr on! ;D

School on 29th, 30th May, 1st, 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st and 22nd June and Literature seminars on 6th and 7th. Shall go revise on my Chinese now. (: My saved messages inbox is full luh! I can't save anymore sms but i can't bear to delete away the old ones. >.<

Out to meet him just now. The sisters came down as well but left after awhile, his sister and lingxiang came down as well. (: Dinner at kfc den home.

I think i'm getting more and more happy with him around. ;D

I went to school today. (: Hang around with Lisa and group, Sharon and Angela and the guys! Quite a fun day because everyone talk alot today. Suntec for Elective module today, toured around the convention centre and we get to see the VIP meeting room and the big big big threatre room. Back to school, our group won the overall and we get to have Fish &co. dinner next week! ;D

Home after school and now i'm home. Not going for the class bbq anymore, don't ask me why but there's a reason to it. Only he and myself knows lah. (: Tmr last day of school, actually not the last day. Sec 4E and 5N has to go back to school for extra lessons on the first week and last week of school and we've got Literature talks on the first or second week of June. ;D

I'm afraid that i'll become too dependent on him one day.

Elective module for the past few days were ok. Chinese Intensive tests after the modules sucks though. Went on Monday but skip the test both yesterday and today. Whole of 5N2 skip the test today, that shows how united our class is. ;D

Rivervale Plaza with Wenyan and Alena after school today to check out the prices. I somehow feel quite weird, no idea why. It seems like only two people are organising this whole thing and i feel quite bad about it but there's nothing for me to do alr cos they've alr done almost everything. Having second thoughts about smthing, will see how it goes. (:

I haven't start revising for my Chinese O'level yet. Got back the overall results of everything alr and it sucks like hell ok. >.<>.<

Wei Wen just ask me along for his birthday celebration on 1st June, most of the N2 guys are going luh. Shall see how. ;D

Things are fine now alr. (: Thanks alot to Wenyan for that tag!

Met him for lunch again today. Lunch at Kovan den home. ;D Yesterday night's sms session with him made me feel happy, really. But he must make me unhappy once everyday. >.<

Roars.

Just came back not long and my brother spoke to me about him again. At this time when i'm feeling so down and jealous. Cried again while talking to brother. >.< Brother told me to give in to him more and brother tell me to say out how i feel if i'm really not happy. But how many times did i tell him about how i feel alr. Sometimes he care sometimes he don't. Guys always help each other! ): And now brother is helping him because he say at least he can make me laugh and smile again when i'm feeling downn when nobody else can do so so my brother likes him. Wth right!

He's now enjoying outside with another girl and i'm feeling so jealous. He broke his promise. And he say he want to accompany me for lunch tmr but now say he doesn't want to. Roar. This sucks man. I need to murder someone.

Stayed at home the whole night staring at the computer screen. (: I wanna get a glass bottle to put smthing in. Shall go get it after i save up, most probably end of this week!

School tmr again. Getting back all the results tmr but i'm prepared for the worst. ;D Not gonna care about my results anyway. O's Chinese is just next Monday and i'm still slacking like nobody's business and dreaming all day long. Gonna head home straight after school for the next few days again. (:

I must must must get that necklace no matter what!


I wanna meet him and see him so much.

Dad came home in the evening and we went over to Tpy to fetch my brother up and was forced to do the usual thing. Mood was hell bad because i was very tired lah. Had dinner at Tpy and i felt kinda sick again but mood turn slightly better after receiving his sms. (: Head home at 8+pm and was sms-ing with him throughout from 7+ onwards. Tv for awhile, was hell tired so i slept at 9+pm. Woke up at 1+am because of stomach cramp, sms-ed again with him till 2+am and i stoned for like an hr plus before i finally fall asleep at 3+am. The pain is killing me! >.< Woke up at 6+am, prepared for work den dad drive me over to work because of the stupid cramp.

Work from 830, extended till 230pm. Was feeling damn tired during work and togther with the cramp, i felt like dying. Ate a mouthful of muffin in the morning before work and didnt have anything after that. >.< I need food now but gotta save money. Home at 3+pm. ;D

Smthing cheered me up last night! (: Shall save hard for alot of things. Movie with him early next month after pay out! ;D

English Oral was ok, i was the first and i think i kinda screwed it up because i don't know what happen to my voice. Sms-ed with him on the way back.

Work cancelled because labour high, had lunch with him and the two sisters again at HougangPt. Or should i say, they went there to see me eat this time round. (: But i'm still grateful lah. The atmosphere was weird today, doesn't seems right. Brother called so i went to make bank transfer again and now my bank left $3+ only. Wtf right, my dream of getting a mp3 within 2mths gonna delay again. Shall stop eating from today onwards and save all the money that i have. ;D The two sisters left and then all separated. Kenny and him went home and i took bus home. Mood wasn't right again.

How i wish 18th May would last forever, how i wish that feeling will last forever but i guess that feeling will stay in my life. (: Do i still have a chance?

Everytime i have this thought inside my mind, i always feel like crying. >.<

Yesterday went to school in the morning for the Elective Module course and those in the Tourism &Hospitality course had a chance to get outta the school to this private school at Shenton Way. My eyes keep wanting to close throughout the session although it was quite fun. Ended at 12pm so we made our way back to school, left school at around 1230pm. Walk to Rivervale Plaza to transfer money, home after that. (: Wanted to sleep but the computer kept shutting down on me so i had to keep restarting the computer and wasted alot of time. Help my brother do some things, bath and prepared. Cabbed down to HougangPt, wasn't feeling very well so decided not to take bus. Didnt have any food, sat there looking around and them eat. Ntuc for candies after that den send the two girls home with him. ;D Not gonna elaborate what happen after that.

Took a bus down to Amk after everything, he went to find his friends and i train-ed down to Tpy to meet my dad. Shouldn't have gone down to look for him! He brought me to blocks as usual and started distributing the flyers. My stomach couldn't take it after 5blocks, gastric pain again so we stop. (; Went to have dinner while waiting for my brother, brother came to find us after i finish eating. And screw that uncle sitting beside us. Left for home after that. ;D Hell tired yesterday so i slept early!

School ltr on for English Oral. Feeling so tired still although i slept early last night. ): Off to prepare for school! ;D

i'll cherish the times we spent togther because i won't know if you'll walk away with her tmr.

Today went out at 11+am, went over to someone's place. Slacked and chit-chatted alot. 72ed back to Hougang, 82ed down to Serangoon and it rain heavily. Waited for his call, 101ed over to Hougang Interchange and meet him. (: Kovan for lunch, walk around and he accompanied me back to CompassPt. I think i made him angry again lah. He left and i wasn't feeling so well after that so sat down at one of the void deck and rested. Rested for like 1/2hr and walked back home slowly. Feeling much better alr 'cept that my head keeps spinning. ;D

Rah.
lovehimplenty;

Having a super bad mood now, partly because of the virus came back to find me again and now i'm having slight fever again. Guess it's time to stop having fast food.

Teared again just now, i feel so so tired that i alr dont know what to do anymore. Don't leave me alone tearing please..

WORDS REMOVED-

edited*

Things are better alr but my head still hurts now. Not feeling that well, gonna sleep early tonight because there's school tmr. ): He agreed to accompany me to collect my phone tmr! ;DD And my brother knows about him alr lah, just pray that he won't be so big mouth and tell my parents about it.

I always like it when the clock strikes between 1050pm to 11pm. (:

Was quite pissed last night luh. Jealousy kills but after that, i'm ok alr. ;D Stayed at home for the whole day yesterday, didn't have anything for the whole day xcept drinks. Slept at 11+pm last night! (: No matter how sad or angry i am, there's one message that will always cheer me up before i sleep and i always have to re-read the message to cheer myself up in the day when he ignores me.

Going out ltr to Tampines over to someone's place to play! (: At least he's willing to accompany me in the late morning before meeting him*. Might be meeting him* in the noon if he's not going to fly me aeroplane again.

I'm fine now people! (:

Today is not a good day at all lah.

Everything wasn't right since morning. And now i let some thoughts run through my mind again, making my tears drop. Having slight fever now and i'm stuck at home because i don't have the energy to walk out. Gonna be strong, i hate to be sick because everyone will be forcing me to eat medicine. Sucks. I wanna go on a diet! ):

I realise i've been throwing tantrums lately. Maybe i should just keep quiet bout my feelings and worries again. Never ending worries running through in my mind, causing me to tear. And i'm super hungry now, havent eaten anything since morning luh. I wanna cry out again because i'm really really tired of facing the same situation all the time. ): kill me please.

Looks like i really have to cut down on the amount of money i spend on my food and other stuff. July and August hell lotsa people birthday and thats the time when i'm not wrking alr. I shall be prepared for that 2mths of spending money. ;D


EDITED*

Slept for a few hrs just now but my head still hurts and i feel as if i'm in the outer space. He's not replying me again luh but no choice, he's a busy guy. >.< My head hurts alot now and i'm waiting for his message! ): I'm hungry but lack of appetite. Probably going out to have dinner with family ltr on but i'm lazy!

Rah!

Exams finally ended! ;D Today Geography and Combine Science Paper 1 are ok but there a few questions i've no idea how to do for Science paper. But who cares, i've alr given up on my mid year exams. (:

4N and 5N are the only group of students who have to report to school on Marking day. Can't help cursing the school for taking away our marking day on Friday and worst still, our Sat. >.<

Stayed at home the whole morning yesterday and went out in the noon to meet him for lunch, LJS. Home at 4+pm. Studied in the night den computer for 1/2hr before sleeping. (: I hate bangalas! How i wish i can kill all of them.

Shall go sleep. Wasn't feeling very well today when taking Combine science paper. Pray that i won't fall sick ok. Shall try to stop taking heaty food but i know i won't do that lah. ;D

Dad came back to fetch me and my brother, off to Tpy. Helped distribute the flyers at mailbox and my hand got cut a few times. Now you know why i hate being a Property Agent! >.< 1/2hr of distributing, dad and brother went to have lunch while i sat there drinking my favourite ice milo! (: Send brother to office and we went off to Orchard. Dad went to find his friends for awhile so i went to CentrePoint and waited for him there alone and i didn't have any cash with me at all ok. So i went walking rounds and rounds in the shopping centre, luckily he was on phone with me. ;D Hang up with him, went to find my dad and we walk down to Wisma. Waited for like 40mins and thats when my phone left me! ): I hate this K700i i'm holding onto now, feel so pissed off whenever i sms because there's smthing wrong with the keypad and i've to use 80% of my strength each time i sms. And i'll only get back my phone on Friday after 5pm. Rah.

Dad ate again after that and we went to Chinatown. Walk for like 10mins and we went to buy porridge home. (: Back to Tpy to fetch my brother den home! Did my Chem TYS and fell asleep while doing. I'm just tired! A call from Bernard woke me up at 1+am, didn't answer the call. Saw his sms-es and i went back to sleep. Mum's alarm clock woke me up at 5+am, replied his sms-es and went back to sleep. 6++am wake up again, sms-ed with him awhile and back to sleep again. ;x Now you know why i'm always so tired in the night, waking up every few hrs or mins throughout the night makes me more tired. But it's ok if it's him or my sisters lah. ;D

Love Wed and Friday! (: Shit the school ok. Friday is suppose to be a marking day but the elective modules is starting this Friday. Most likely school will end ltr than usual because each session last 5 freaking hrs. Urgh.

Off to have instant noodles!

I'm craving for LJS, Yoshi and Kfc. >.< But for the sake of my mp4, i can't have all these!